What I love about being a Lover is that satisfaction is a guaranteed benefit.
It can be no other way. What you desire, you experience with joy, passion and connection to others. All because you want it. If is sounds easy is because it is. However the cost for that ease is being responsible.
True loving is a practice of what you say and do. If you say,
“I want to be happy in a relationship”
it is what you do about it that makes a difference. As far as goals go, being in a happy relationship is only lame because it means nothing specific. It’s like the idea of romance, which means so many things to so many people that ultimately, it lacks real significance in the life you actually live.
Romance is fantasy. It is supposed to be mysterious and alluring. Being a Lover is reality, it’s supposed to be raw and gritty, visceral and experiential. “Happy” is too hard to measure. That means it is difficult to maintain and near impossible to improve.
Having relationship goals that are specific and measurable are easier to celebrate and take pride and joy in. For example,
“I want to be with a Lover who still makes time for dates 3 years into our relationship.”
This kind of goal may or may not make you happy, but when you get there (because of your loving actions) you’ll a)know when those dates are happening, and b)be able to feel the joy in them when it happens.
Complete satisfaction. Clear experience and earned wisdom to what truly makes a difference in your life. Having a practice as a Lover isn’t about locking yourself into a corner. It’s about being keenly descriptive in your desires and specific in your actions so you can experience greater satisfaction in shorter time.