[vc_row full_width=”” parallax=”” parallax_image=””][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text css_animation=””]Allow yourself to feel joy. Appreciate. Be happy. It’s abundantly clear there’s something in your life to find pleasure in but if you don’t practice feeling it in your bones, you begin to dull senses. If you’re not used to giving yourself what you deserve, this practice is for you.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row full_width=”” parallax=”” parallax_image=””][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text css_animation=””]There are lots of ways to disallow the joy of being alive. Excessive complaining, not saying thank you when receiving anything, hating your job. Every negative result coming from you is a choice you make to withhold some joy. The practice of allowance asks that you choose to give emotionally rather than take away, particularly for yourself.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row full_width=”” parallax=”” parallax_image=””][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text css_animation=””]For example, rather than hate her job, choose to be happy you get to look for other work. That’s a privileged joy you ignore by hating your job and doing nothing. Personal disallowance feeds into your relationships subtly. An extreme version of this occurred when a man refused to stroke himself to climax until he turned 27 years old.

Self pleasure, he thought, was something losers did, so he used women to masturbate instead. Eventually he couldn’t tell the difference between someone he liked and someone’s pussy he needed to come in. He would not masturbate. Until he spent 40 days and 40 nights without a single ejaculation. He’d never been without sex for that long a period since he started having sex. It was tough at first, but after the night terrors died down, he realized how much more energetic he felt. Rather than direct all of his focus outward to attract willing sex partners, he focused that energy inward.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row full_width=”” parallax=”” parallax_image=””][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]Very soon after lent he began self pleasuring. It felt like an allowance he deserved and he did. Doing so shifted all of his relationships in a new direction. By loving himself in a way that had been previously banned, he could tap into another kind of joy available having sex with women. Gone was the obsession to fuck and rush to climax. The desperation to connect was replaced by a propensity to feel the good that’s available. Allowance affects all facets of a lovers relationship, not just sex. The practice is principally about making new choices. The kind that open your senses up to what feels good.

[icegram messages=”1262″][/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row full_width=”” parallax=”” parallax_image=””][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text css_animation=””]Allow yourself joy in connection. Allow it in disconnection also. Allowance is a practice of making choices that feel good. That is allowance. Choose a perspective that fills you rather than drains you. This is allowance. Choose yourself first and then once you feel good. Allow your partner to feel it too.

With practice allowance expands your natural capability to feel joy and subsequently pain.

Fear not warrior. Pain is your speciality. This too is allowance as a lover.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]