It’s a force greater than the gender of your partner.

Friendship transforms romance into authentic connection. Being your partner’s friend fastens the straps so your fantasies can safely sweep you away. If you’re going to drive fast wear a seat belt. 

Language and experience shape the experience when two people connect. When tender communication pathways storm and result in breakdown, being a friend as well as a cross lover is of great service to your relationship. Love is an equalizing force, being a friend is a clear and positive choice to honor it. Subjects and pronouns that classify him and her are irrelevant when building something much stronger than either alone. A friend.

Creating a friend out of your significant other takes practice. Relationship trends automatically establish inequity between the person who pays and who doesn’t, the person who’s on top and who’s on bottom, positing virtually every action taken as positive or negative. It’s a challenge to be non judgmental and romantic at the same time.

If you want to shoot a basketball well, you take lots of shots and your skill improves, no matter who you are.

Friendship takes just as much practice to be good at. Every shot you take is an emotional risk rather than a physical one. The stakes are even greater. Ask some who’s depressed or a sociopath, emotions shape everything.

When you consider going deeper in a relationship or getting closer to someone you care about, start by being a friend, no matter what. Offer your lovers the kind of unconditional acceptance, care and affection you base friendship on. Give your special someone the freedom to grow as an individual and let your connection be the light that it is rather than what anyone else says it should be.