Photo Credit:  Jon Tyson

“Be the change you want to see in the world,” has always been a mind fuck.

Everyone deserves the most abundant lifestyle possible. All the love, all the joy, that harmonizes inevitable sorrow, is a birthright. Not just for me, but for every human being.

Here’s the fucking catch though. If I’m not a lover, then no one I connect with is getting what they deserve and when I’m living in a world that is not full of lovers, there’s a big problem because I’m born to be loved.

Yet being a lover is a challenge in a world that comes to hate easily.

One thing I do to be a lover

is to have faith, the real non-religious kind of beliefs in forces greater than me like gravity, electromagnetism and nuclear energy. Love is one of those forces I have faith in, despite the scientific community’s scant understanding of it’s quantum mechanics. I have practiced faith as a lover.

Another thing I do to be a lover

is allow my anger to be energy that fuels action. Students in my courses experience emotion as a form of biochemical energy that has potential a lover can use to make a difference but not without doing work.

Something else I do to be a lover

is practice unflinching courage. There doesn’t seem to be a way around experiencing fear but there’s a step to take in a positive direction and that’s all it takes to be courageous. Keep making those steps toward being as love.

I’d never be a lover if I didn’t

fuck as much as I want. No shame in this game. Shedding and being shameless takes a lot of negotiating with myself and courageous communication with lovers. The fact is, there’s a despicable culture of ridicule, derision and shame for all human sexuality and I’m sick of it. It’s unhealthy and unloving and I won’t stand for any of it.

If you haven’t gotten on the sex positive culture, it’s because you haven’t learned to be sexually healthier, not because you’re bent on making people feel bad about being a human or something.

A surprising thing I do to be a lover

is kill romance and get real. Fantasy is great to play with but the moment I let a story blind me to the realities that engulf me and my partner, disconnection sets in. There’s a shock to the system when the flesh and blood lovers don’t meet the expectations of happily every after-ness.

Pretty lies cannot suffice when the stakes are this dire. Love is abundance but systems of nation, politics, money, social status are all built on scarcity. In their service to us, these systems also deliver every opportunity to be in connection as less lover.

Everyone starts as a lover

and it’s possible to be more like you began. Your origin is a birth of creation, abundance, heat, joy, expansion and all the tell tale signs that love forces are at work. The truth is you’ve always been a lover though are not always surrounded by the energy to keep giving. You’ve learned to be scarce and unloving.

The good news is there are things you can do, things you deserve to do as a lover. Fill yourself with the energy to be relentless as love is. Whatever you do, love yourself first, and beyond measure. Then be the lover your community needs.

 

jaebi

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