There are two kinds of relationships. Win-win and Win-lose (lose-win, lose-lose). Why have anyone lose, when everyone can win? Especially in relationships that matter. You win, they win. Everyone wins. This is the best kind of romance. It’s better than a fairytale because it’s possible.
A relationship win is any connection-based experience that meets your needs. Satisfaction has many looks but when you’re satisfied, you know it. The feeling is unmistakeable. Being full, content, wanting more, maybe now but definitely later.
Desire doesn’t stop until you’re dead. While you’re still alive, getting satisfaction in love, sex and relationships is one of the best things you can do. Anyone who has ever had a breakup has learned that sustaining a healthy love life is challenging. Every failed relationship has different circumstances but the root cause of their demise is dissatisfaction.
No one wants to lose which is why so many relationships and marriages end in breakup and divorce. Relationships are designed to create gains, not losses. Sustainable relationships offer rewarding and healthy benefits for everyone. This doesn’t happen by accident.
- You have to want to win.
- You have to want your partner(s) to win.
Without both these wins, you breed toxicity in your relationship. Loss plagues your connection especially when it is faux love and affection. Like the poison of sacrifice. Making sacrifices for those you love is romantic but not a win. It’s a loss and no one in your relationship has to lose for it to work.
Only 50% of marriages end in divorce. The other 50% are winning. They are satisfied in their relationships. They thrive because there is a net benefit to being in connection. Relationships aren’t mystical creatures. What you have is a reflection of who you are being.
Here are four of the best ways to win at love:
1. Be Curious
In relationship, curiosity is the engine that generates appreciation, gratitude and renewable interest in someone familiar. It’s easy to believe you have a lover all figured out as months and years progress. Resist that urge. People are ever-evolving.
Keep your level of curiosity as high as possible. Life events bring up feelings and reactions that highlight the character strengths and flaws of those you love. Take delight in how they grow and change. Expect them to be fluid rather than fixed over time.
If you want to know who your lover really is, accept only emotional content in response to all questions. Especially those that begin with why, who and how?
Emotion is the motivation of all action. Relationships that are brewing with curiosity keeps deepens and nourishes a lasting bond.
2. Be Compassion
Life is hard, relationships ought to make it easier. Why have people around if it doesn’t make it better? To embody compassion you have to be a force for healing. Promote it in yourself and others. It’s pretty easy when you think about it.
When you’re being true compassion, you don’t actually have to do much of anything. What little you do, is only to enable someone you love. You’re just fostering a space for health and well being, with your thoughts and words.
Being compassion is acknowledgement of what to think, what to do and what to say during life events so healing can thrive. Especially in you. Being open is what makes compassion so sexy. The best parts of sex always involve opening.
3. Be Motivation
Results are satisfaction. Sexy is when you put your desire out there and reap the rewards of bravery. If you want to be motivation, follow your desire for an easy win. If you want to motivate your partner, push them toward their own desires.
Relationships that do this grow intimate with knowledge and stimulate strength, zest, joy and resilience throughout the rigors of life. The momentum you experience in love, sex and relationships can rejuvenate aspects of family and career as well.
Being motivation is a connection to your core desires. Share and support them in your relationship for a win win in personal growth and stellar orgasms.
4. Be Acceptance
Relationships offer many luxuries but zero impact is not one of them. What you do matters. Your actions affect those you love in visible and less obvious ways. It’s not exactly fair to accept the consequences of someone else’s actions but it’s part of meaningful connection.
A lot comes with being in connection but there’s a win for your relationship inside of self expression. Let yourself be. Let your partner be. Accepting your lover is cherishing the chance to know them. Your acceptance means they can just be. Seen and valued for the good, right, wrong and bad. The abundant love of full acceptance.
The rewards for connection should be stellar or the price isn’t worth it. Relationships that create a safe space for self expression tap into one of life’s greatest joys. Win win relationships are a turn on because they create sexy moments without actual sex. They satisfy deep desires like being accepted for your humanity.
Every connection finds a unique rhythm to being satisfied but they all seek it. With curiosity, compassion, motivation and acceptance, your relationships become an oasis of satisfaction in a world that can’t meet every need. You still get to choose who you want to be and how you want to win win.
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